Saturday, January 24, 2009

Episode 'Goat Vs Nigerian Police"







I was shocked, overwhelmed, flabbergasted and even 'flagabasted' when I saw this news title "Police parade goat as robbery suspect" eh! for where ? how come? that can't be true! lai-lai! haba! a goat--robbery suspect! when did this world come to that? etc........

My friend sent me the news link here yesterday, since I read it I have not stopped wondering about a lot of things.........

A goat (abi na ram) has been arrested for attempting to steal a car!....ok the gist is that a man was caught attempting to steal a mazda car and while he was about to be apprehended, he turned his back to the wall and turned into a goat! and the goat has been arrested and would be kept in police custody till all investigations have been concluded.

In as much as I do not doubt our super abilities in Africa; to turn a stick to a human being and turn a human being into a tuber of yam, I also know we have the best air force one technology; we can fly at night to anywhere under any weather condition, etc but our police for shame small, and think twice before parading a ram about as a robbery suspect!

Well, I had fun thinking about it over and over again, imagining the police men dragging about a ram (and you know how sturbborn Nigerian goats can be), to court house, to televesion houses, to and fro the police station, to press conference centres etc. I really do not envy the Police Public Relations Officer that was saddled with the responsibilty of informing the public.

So my people, I have some questions:-


  • Will this goat be charged to court for robbery?
  • If it is charged and it is found guilty, how will it serve its purnishment? .......starve the goat? beat it till it can't bleat again.....or better still till it starts shouting 'ye' 'ye'..or 'ouch' 'ouch' like a proper human being ( that it is supposed to be)?
  • Can it be proven that true true this goat was a man before now? as we know the forensic technology capability (or prowess) of the Nigerian Police.
  • And if it is true that the goat was a man, can this skill be harnessed, the technology developed, so that we can be the exporter of the 8th wonder of the world, and then some of us can just turn into a mosquito ( whenever we like) and enter anywhere without any inhibition/restrictions.etc...a lot of things are running through my mind.

Please.......help me to stop wondering............................




36 comments:

Danny Bagucci said...

Unfortunately its a conundrum from which there are no easy escapes......Guess as long as no one can turn into a goat and interrogate the goat in "goatese" there is no way we can be sure that the goat got a fair trial, with the opportunity of entering a plea....

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

wait, the man turned into a goat?

What absolute rubbish, and the newspaper bothered to carry this trash? Ah......

Someone, actually a couple people need to lose their jobs right about now. Nonsense.

Enkay said...

Honestly, I can't imagine this nonsense!

The thief turned into a goat? And the police actually arrested the goat? Please, please! Who are these policemen for goodness' sake? What proof is there? Such stupidity!

I even heard the guys called a press conference! I can't imagine it! Nigeria na wa o!

aloted said...

Funke u will not kill me o...hehehehehehehehehe

i cant laff o

i cant even comment

and sorry cant help you stop wondering..cuz this is just toooo funny


i am speechless

hehehehehe. NAIJA!!!!

actually i think they shld slaughter the goat and cook it...hehehehe

Abujamaiden said...

My friend who is not Nigerian actually sent the link to me....

Why can't the police use the same juju to change the goat back? lol!

They should spend their time solving crimes not collowing animals even though with people turning to yams this might not be too false its Africa innit?

Abujamaiden said...

typo= following animals

bumight said...

ok, i just had to talk about this,
yesterday night, i saw the headline on yahoo news:

newspaper claims suspect transformed into a goat

and im thinking to myself: pls dont let it be Nigeria again!
and i click on it, Alas! its us again.

teebay said...

let the charge the tin to animal court na!

or just kill it. vals is close by.

Beulah! said...

Hahhahaa..hehhee...yay!, my stomach is hurting from laughter. This is a big joke!, goat thief?, na wa oh!, wondas shall neva end in dis naija...

I've been so busy dear, i will respond to ur 2 truths,1 lie tag soonest!

Topsie said...

I already read about the story too....it's not hard ke, they should've just killed the goat to see if it would change into a man, and ensure they made it very public!

Traditions and superstitious beliefs are still very strong in this part of the world, moreso, in places that ain't Lagos (awon ilu oke)...lol.

Come to think of it, it could've happened o! but Press conference sha!!! on top goat? Na wah.

Tisha said...

ok. its obvious the guy is on jazz. no matter how civilized we would like to sound, its obviously a magic trick of those traditionalists, and i dont pity the goat-man one bit. lol

Vera Ezimora said...

lol. I've been laughing my head off ever since. Hehehehehehe. The possibilities are endless.

JesusFreak said...

wow...this news is spreading like wild fire on TV, newspapers and even blogs.

Na wa ooo.

I don't really find this news funny though it has funny looks. This is share waste of time on the part of the police...

To me, they should just leave the goat alone. They are in a situation. They cant do anything to the goat. Why not leave it alone and let it be.

They should just place a tracking machine on it so that they would know it movement...Oh, am i watching a film..lol

This is hilarious!!!

For the love of me said...

Lol, the goat would end up in a pot, I assure you.

Kémi Penélopê said...

Na only for Eko na we go hear and read this wonderment...!!!! But thanks for sharing...and also thanks for stopping by my blog...

Olufunke said...

@ ALL
Thanks for all your interesting comments,I enjoyed reading through them all. I'm wondering less.

I've also read about this issue on people's blogs and on the internet, I still have some things on my mind like:

- Let's all agree that the thief turned to a goat true true, did he have a choice on what animal to turn into?

- If he did have a choice, why did he turn to a goat? why not a snake...like a cobra, a lion or a mosquito, at least they would not have been able to apprehend it.

- Will people eat if they end up cooking the goat? ( like a lot of people have suggested)

- Are we sure the man-goat is still the one in the police custody?(not underestimating the degree of corruption in our Police force) the 'oga' of the thieves might have exchanged the man-goat for an ordinary goat.

Well, what can we say? Nigeria we hail thee!

stuck in my throat o said...

It is too funny.
I am always amazed at how Nigerians/ Africans have collective madness.

Sting said...

Where's PETA when u need them? Nigerians are special.

poeticallytinted said...

Yes to all your questions! LOL. The arms of the law are very long and will catch you if you like transform into a fly!
Naija for life jare!

thanks for stopping at mine.

yankeenaijababe said...

OMG!!! Am I reading correctly what you posted or is it my misunderstanding? The man is a goat or someone stole the goat. Naija , you never seem to surprise one with your stories. My sister how you de now?

Saved Girl said...

wow, very interesting post. diggin your blog.

Writefreak said...

Naija police, we hail thee!

yankeenaijababe said...

we are waiting for updates from the honorable Oyin.lol Thanks for checking on me. How bodi now and work?

Debbie said...

Funny indeed, really make me laugh
I like it, thanks for visiting my page.

Geebee said...

I am still laughing . . . Na wa oh. I definitely missed this news. Now what we should ask here is if the legal system in Nigeria makes provisions or accepts the possibility of acts of voodoo and witchcraft. What’s the court judge going to say by the way? Who’s going to defend the goat? Or is there a section in the constitution that makes provision for animals in court? Olufunke dear, I wish I could help you stop wondering . . . but the problem is I’m wondering too!

Dammy said...

I am looking for my goat o!
Someone seem to have kidnapped or stolen my goat!

Is it the Nigerian police? Lol!


Well, as crazy as this sounds, it might be true. You can't underestimate what we Africans can do. But what I don't understand is having to parade a goat as robbery suspect for public viewership!

StandTall-The Activist said...

I am praying for our belief ssytem to improve in Nigeria. May we stop being a national disgrace

Afronuts said...

LMAO!!

What manner of JAZZ is all this?
Naija people are just so full of silly ideas.

I wonder how long that goat will remain in custody...and i hope easter or christmas will not meet it there.

Olamild said...

lmaooooooooooo
It's not news to me
A cow was arrested and jailed about 2 years ago. They claimed he stepped on private property

lmaooooo 9ja will not kill me o. na wa

Oyin said...

I thought I ate all the goat while I was in 9ja....hahaha...first time here.

Nice!

Emeka Amakeze said...

They've just set a precedence and sooner than later, Civil Defence, Boys Scout, Road Safety and the rest of them will start arresting chicken, pigs, cattle, and even obogwu for loitering or illegal possession of grass.

mike said...

It happened for real. This Naija. Anything can Happen. Anything. When i saw it in the papers i just screamed silently. Naija

OluwaDee said...

Pls lets kill the goat and use it to make stew.

Olamild said...

lmaooooooooo once again

yankeenaijababe said...

You have been tagged with the "Honest Scrap Award"...love your blog and just wanted to let you know...you are tagged. Have a great Sunday.

Uzezi said...

infortunately stories like these are what sell newspapers today in nigeria, not senator steals this or fuel prices does these. people are used to all that. but man turns to goat and is arrested, is a form of gossip that takes people's mind away from the economy, something different from the govt that they can also say are part of what is holding nigeria hostage.

anyway, im waiting for the outcome of this case.