Thursday, January 27, 2011

LOVE STORY ………… (2)

NB: LONG POST ALERT!!!


If you have it [Love], you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have.

Sir James M. Barrie

Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.

Unknown

I’ve enjoyed blogging so far, it has been a way for me to chronicle my thoughts on different issues of life.

Writing about my attempts at love, or rather my experiences in the world of romance is one of the things I like to blog about.

So, after Love Story 1 ended, needless to say that I was dis-oriented, depressed and very discouraged.

I despaired….because a lot of things that I planned for and looked forward to failed too, the disappointments all happened at the same time Love Story 1 ended.

It was as if the whole world conspired to deny me of ALL the good things I wanted in life.

I was in this state when my love story 2 began…


It was at my job

I was living; working and trying to put myself together...

I was opportune to be on this big project, I was learning a lot


He was seconded there as a client representative of the multinational we were working for.

He was the quiet, firm all serious looking client

For a very long time, I didn’t know he was ‘in-to’ me.

We met again at some company’s recruitment program

He called my phone (didn’t know how he got my number)

We chatted that day for a while

And he insisted on coming to see me afterward at home

I later got to know he got my phone number from a colleague…..and that was the beginning of a serious chase! A determined ‘woo-ing’

To him, I was ‘beauty’ and ‘brains’ personified

...candour, charm, comely…

I was the cool, calm and collected…..all in one person

My appearances depicted an epitome of sartorial splendour

The only ‘bottled water’ in his desert

I had brought ‘meaning’ to his life again, he said on our ‘first unofficial’ date


To me, He was ‘the almighty’ handsome client, a senior colleague,

He was intelligent, understanding, with a good listening ear and much matured

He was that very patient, hardworking, determined and focused guy, one with a good heart and had a good life

The man one could proudly take home to mummy…’settled, ready and apparently ‘complete’.


We were in the same industry; we understood the same standards, codes and drawings.

We could talk for endless hours about work.

We had same feelings about relationships, about office people, projects etc.

We seemed to flow and sure enjoyed being in each other’s company.

We enjoyed dining together.

We enjoyed driving round town together.

We enjoyed endless hours of gossip.

We looked forward to the times we would have with each other after the day’s stress.


With him, I was making a lot of crazy decisions.

With him I was jumping, running, dancing ALL at once!

Twas like a rumba dance…, just that we didn’t need the music….the dance steps just flowed


He came in to my life at the time, I still would describe as the “most trying period of my life”

…a time when everything else was just bad.

He was the only good thing

...he stood by me, was there for me

He wanted to be my boo, my lover,

..and I ‘naturally’ allowed him to

He was looking for a wife, I wanted a husband,

..we had it all


But then to me……He was also ‘my temptation’, 'my test', 'my trial'

We didn’t share the same faith!

We did not have the same convictions, could not share the same devotions!

We could not place the same priorities on some issues of life!

We could not have a common ground on what I considered the most important things in life!


I knew this love, this budding romance (did I say budding)……..it was exploding

I knew it was not possible!

I knew this love cannot be, it won’t live, could not survive.

I knew it would not; not now, not later, not ever.

I was convinced I had to let go, I needed to let go and let God

I was (with him) delving into the sacred places.

I was going past my boundaries

I was making light the price that was paid for my sanctification

I was compromising, trying to feel among, feeding my adventurous me

I was trying new things,

I was thinking…….. just live now and worry later.

I was toying with the idea of marrying him despite the huge differences we had


Suddenly, my eyes were open to so many (more important) things we didn’t have in common

I could clearly see the ‘faulty’ foundation I was planning to lay for ‘the rest of my life’

I had a boundary, no matter how much my whole being ached (even to the point of torture) and craved for a glimpse, a taste for the ‘other side’……I could not go past.

I was heart broken, at the thought of loosing such a beautiful relationship;

I was not sure how I would begin again.

I was certain I didn’t know how to exist in a world he was not in...

I was scared to death what would become of me if I ended this…

I knew I just could not continue


Then one day

I decided to let go!

I knew mercy abounds somewhere………where grace came from

I took courage; I knew I could survive with God’s help

I could ‘undo’ the damages

I knew God loved me…….He did not let me damage beyond repair

I knew we (God and me) could do it together,

I could begin again, I could start another love...

I was learning that a love (no matter how sweet or good it looks) can be impossible!


Today

What can I say…

I am one of the greatest recipients of God’s mercies!

He brought me out 'complete'

From a love that was not possible and was taking me into a viable one...

He brought me out ‘whole’ and ‘complete

14 comments:

dhjax said...

Lost me in the middle of this 'epistle' o... Hmm...

Good Naija Girl said...

Thank God for the strength that got you out of the situation before it was too late. I like how you acknowledge that God did not let you damage beyond repair.

I feel quite blessed to have experienced what a great person you are in-person. Lucky is the fellow who will call you wife. Waiting is not fun but I'm convinced that your next love story will be the final one...the forever one.

Myne Whitman said...

I'm looking forward to part 3. Love sometimes walks a tortuous road to its destination.

Anonymous said...

Its takes a lot of courage to walk out of a relationship you are enjoying but knew cannot work, since the relationship doesn't agree with your core value. So many people ended in marriage who had such issues & end up crying silently every night cos they cant share with their hubby something that really matters to them!
I praise your courage. I know what its like to wear that shoe!

Beulah! said...

Wow Funke, u held me spell-bound from start to finish!....completely well written, wait ohh... is that u??, chei!, i can imagine how u felt, letting go, ee nor easy, double thumbs up to u for the courage. The truth is, it's a worthy sacrifice becos at the end of the day because, marriage is like a journey of a thousand miles, u want to start it on d right footing.

Ive missed you babes!, pls update more often...lolzzz *** should be saying that to myself actually***

Rita said...

Strong woman, I thank God for the lessons you are learning as you walk with Him. There is nothing as beautiful as a "whole" woman and indeed it is only God that can do it.

May your loving Father who has started this good work in you perfect all that concerns you.

Happy New Year, take care...

Tunde said...

really nice...and inspiring (can i 'tiff' it and use it on 'the board' - al keep u anonymous if u want)

Tisha said...

"...and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have..."

This is what i long for. I will have it. A worthy worth giving!

I also loved your story and i know that no matter how it hurt, you did the right thing.
I won't say you will find love, i say 'Love will find you'.

Olufunke said...

@dhjax: I am so sorry, you got lost...I hope you got an idea of th eain gist the post was about?
Cheers!

@Good Naija girl: Oh dear! thanks for your good wishes and nice comments about me, I am sure you know you are a treasure fillede ewith all sorts of beautiful things of this world.

@Myne Whitman: I am putting together the drafts. I am with you, the hourney to love can really be 'beautiful'

@Anonymous:
Thanks! It was God, He gave me the strenght to move on and gave me something better. You know sometimes good things need to end, so the better things can show up

@Beulah: My sister...I agree with you, marriage is a very very very long journey...
Where have you been dearie? we need a post o! Thanks

@Rita: Hehe...me, strong woman?...I really wish I am o, I deal with too many of my weaknesses every day. Thanks for your prayers...I say big AMEN, I am sure 2011 has been good so far

@Tunde: Thanks for your kind comments, off course you can 'tiff' and 'tap' all you want, its my testimony

@Tisha: Thanks...I pray you will have it; real, true and viable love. How have you been?

Anonymous said...

wwwwwwwwoooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!! You know we just communicated,right?

Diamond said...

wow thnx for sharing

adekunle said...

@ Anonymous: communicated right?
@Diamond: My pleasure, thank GOd

Enkay said...

This story is so touching Olufunke!
To love like that and let go for the sake of higher ideals...girl, I agree with Rita, you are strong!

I believe firmly in my heart that Love will find you. The very kind that you deserve. The one that would be yours forever. It won't be long now.....

Titty said...

Olufunke mi o. Good job pouring your heart out. As I read this posting, I understood you perfectly - line upon line. I've been there.

Know why you couldn't go on? 'Cos the 'seed' is not in you. We have a different seed, and His loving Spirit weeds off the tares.

The Greater love lifted you, and the greater love will settle you.

Love you girl...